1. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let’s get you out of these wet clothes. 2. Nice legs…what time do they open? 3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package. 4. You’ve got 206 bones in your body, want one more? 5. Can I buy you a [...]

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1. Right up to the 20th century, pound bars of salt (called amoleh) were the basic currency in Abyssinia (now called Ethiopia). 2. The amazing Salar de Uyuni (the world’s largest salt flat at 4,000 square miles) in Bolivia becomes mirrorlike when a thin layer of water lies on top. This reflectivity makes it a [...]

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The new DeWalt 16-D RapidFire 376 My Cheating Wife or EX Wife Pictures 177 My old college buddy Mike Litoris 165 Famous People with Bipolar Disorder 53 Vegetable Carving 50 Website: Yearbookyourself.com 36 The most awesome bacon meal ever 34 Have you seen this awesome cat 31 Want the Cookie Monster killer costume f 30 [...]

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Mid-men, the male versions of mid-wives, are called accouchers. The working section of a piano is called the action. The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets. The distance that a place holder falls from a glass when it is lifted (you know, place holders sometimes get stuck to the bottom of [...]

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20. While watching someone in Australia put $1 million worth of rubies on a table: “Damn, must not be any black folks in Australia. You can’t just leave $1 million worth of jewelry lying around the ‘hood.” 19. Asked if he had ever been in the governor’s office in Montgomery, Barkley said no. “They don’t [...]

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I didn’t go to college but if I did I would’ve taken all my tests at a restaurant ’cause “The customer’s always right.” All right, all right. That joke’s better than you acted. Perhaps it’s not. Maybe it’s dumb. It could be. I hear you, man. I’m not a fuckin’ genius for Christ’s sakes. You [...]

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